Summer? ........... or Winter?


Finally, the temperatures and the humidity have come down and the weather is now perfect – about 25 degrees celsius and no sweating. About a hundred miles north of Sydney lies the coal and steel town of Newcastle but the industry didn't detract from its charms. We climbed up the hill in the centre of town to the huge Anglican Cathedral – not because we were feeling the need to pray but because there was a geocache there. An Australian couple walked up with us and so we introduced them to GCing; they were fascinated especially when in just a few minutes, we extricated the booty. Converts? No – but they're decidedly interested. We walked further up to the top of the hill for another GC and then down the other side to the rocky coast where waves were battering the cliffs, and followed the ocean around headlands, past lovely beaches and finally out the mile-long spit known as Nobby's Point and there was a GC right at the end. We were exhausted by the time we got back to the ship but were so thankful that the weather had become more moderate and allowed us to do it.




Even though we've sailed into Sydney Harbour before, we still got up early to see the early morning sun shine on the beautiful city. Even at that hour of the day, there were climbers at the top of the Sydney Harbour Bridge. They yelled and waved with glee as the huge ship squeezed under the centre of the bridge and slid around the corner to dock at Darling Harbour.


Our friends, R&J, who live part of the year in Sydney, met us in town and we spent the day with them. First stop Paddy's Market, beside Chinatown, but it's a big hodge-podge of cheap and nasty goods and we didn't stay long. We made our way down to Circular Quay, the centre of life in Sydney. That's where the Opera House resides along with restaurants galore and it's the confluence of all transportation – trains, buses and ferries.


We took a ferry ride upstream on the Paramatta River when the ticket guy quoted us $7.40 for the two hour return trip. With tired feet, the peaceful boat ride was welcomed. Arriving back at the wharf, we stuck our tickets into the exit gate and they'd 'Expired'. How was that possible when we hadn't got off the boat? We called a young attendant over and he told us that there was no such thing as a 'Return' ticket so how could they have sold us one. That made us angry and we asked to see the manager. Another young guy appeared in a few minutes to tell us “These are government ferries and we can't do anything about it”. We told him that was totally unsatisfactory and asked again for the person in charge. “He's on his way” said the first guy. Finally, someone with authority appeared and he asked us how we were enjoying Sydney. Obviously the young guy had told him we were tourists and he was trying to appease us but after a few pleasantries, he accepted the fact that they were at fault and he ushered us through.



The Dawn Princess threw off her bow lines and drew out of her berth in Darling Harbour as dusk started to fall. The setting sun glinted in the office towers and the sky took on a rosy hue. It was absolutely beautiful. There were still climbers making their way across the tippy top of the Sydney Harbour bridge silhouetted against the darkening sky and the Opera House lit so subtly peeked underneath the span. It crossed my mind that we might never be here again but not with sadness, more with a 'been there, done that' feeling.



“When will we have some choppy seas so we'll know that we're on a ship?” J and I had complained to the captain when we had lunch with him. The sea had been so calm all the way around the continent that we might as well have been in a hotel. “I'll see what I can do about it when we get to the Tasman Sea” he replied with amusement. And so, when he came across the PA when we headed away from the coast of New South Wales, he said “You can't please all people all the time but like a politician, I try and so for those who've requested stormy seas, they're about to start”. It was delightful. The wind had arisen so high that as we walked around the promenade deck hanging on to each other, the prow sent a curtain of water up and over the railings. It wasn't long before they closed off all doors to the deck as the sea heaved and rolled. Seasickness bags appeared in the public areas and it appeared as if the population of the ship had dwindled. It was the last formal night of the cruise and Fernie had gone up to the sauna and steam room while I showered and did my hair in the stateroom. He is prone to motion sickness and I think the heat of the spa and it's location on a top deck exacerbated it because as he walked in the door, he looked a bit green. He lied down for a while, then went out for a bit of fresh air, then lied down again. The seas were only moderately rough but apparently it's the type of rolling motion rather than the severity that makes one sick. So he missed dinner, the Beef Wellington, the lobster, the pheasant under glass and the baked Alaska parade ...... About six hours after the it started, the seas calmed and the storm abated as we came into the protection of the east coast of Tasmania.

Fernie rescued a little dog in Hobart


This is our second visit to Hobart, the largest city in Tasmania. Its harbour reminded us somewhat of Vancouver's with the dark waters and Mount Wellington looming behind the city. It's about as far south of the equator as Portland, Oregon is north; it's certainly not tropical and the temperature was only about 16 degrees celsius. A small city, it's full of old Victorian homes and English gardens dense with roses. It was perfect for geocaching!

Tasmania, known for its Tasmanian Devils is like what Newfoundland is to Canada. The people are Tazzies kind of like Newfies – separate & different; they want to be considered a distinct breed from mainland Australians. Their small island is lightly populated and is mostly wild and untamed country, a lot of it set aside in reserves.

We spent a day and a half in Hobart – a strange place to do so; Sydney would have been more likely but the moorage fees are probably much higher there. We went out on the second morning geocaching and R&G and J without L accompanied us. R&G each found a GC finally; thank goodness we weren't skunked.


I received an email later on that evening after I logged the geocaches that we found in Hobart, from the owners of one of the caches. They said they'd noticed us that afternoon on the waterfront with our GPS and if they'd known we were Canadians, they'd have introduced themselves. They were so pleased that we found their geocache and welcomed us to Tasmania. Hobart was also the place where I found 'the perfect man'. He was nestled in a geocache and I could hear him talking as I opened the container “Honey, you look so tired; why don't you sit down with a glass of wine while I prepare dinner” he crooned. I was in love before I saw him. He's six inches tall and utters about ten other divine expressions of loving care when you push on his tummy. Well, he had to come back to Canada with me but he's a 'GC travel bug' which means that I have to move him on to another geocache – I can't keep him....boo hoo!


Our final port – Burnie, Tasmania, on the north coast across the Bass Strait from the mainland state of Victoria, where the weather was perfect at about 20 degrees while Melbourne only 200 km north was suffering in 39 degrees. We took a public bus along with L&J out of Burnie through the rolling green countryside to Fern Glade. It was full of giant fern palms in the gully along the Emu River – a lovely lush woodland where we were on a platypus hunt. Sadly, we met no platypusses? platypussies? platypussi? (I don't have a clue what the plural is) But a wallaby scampered across the trail right in front of us and a flock of what we called Australian Roadrunners (probably guinea hens) scampered about.


And that was about it – after six weeks, we were about to leave Australia and summer to happily head back home to a proper Xmas environment. We'll probably never set foot on Australian shores again; it's a beautiful, livable country but it's lacking exotic appeal – it's too much like home; the people are too much like us – travel is meant to broaden one's horizons and Australia doesn't do that.

Here's a brief summary of the cruise in case you think I only point out the negatives. One area that I'd actually be pleased if it wasn't good is the food but my expanding girth and Fernie's too is a result of the absolutely delicious cuisine. They outdid themselves in all areas but especially with their curries and their pastas as well as all the other usual fare – from escargot to lobster and all in between. The onboard entertainment was a constantly revolving variety from magicians, comedians, jugglers Broadway singing and dance routines, to vocalists of all kinds – they did a really good job. One of the singers was so good that we couldn't figure out why she was on a ship entertaining – isn't it supposed to be for over the hill or never quite made it entertainers? The cruise director was a bit of a bore but his first assistant was a really funny young English guy who we followed with whatever audience participation entertainment he put on – whether it was a Family Feud or a Newlywed Game. He reminds me of John Krasinski of The Office fame. The cruise was a perfect way to visit so many cities and towns in Australia that we'd never get to any other way but I'm so glad we had the first two weeks of independent land travel even though it was much cheaper cruising than land traveling.

The final day of an overseas holiday is always stressful and especially when getting off a cruise where you've been pampered for 28 days. It began with a series of annoyances. All six of us were flying out on the same flight to LA at twelve noon and we planned on sharing a Maxi-cab to the airport. At the last minute, Princess and the Australian Quarantine Authority decided that all four of our friends would have to report for inspection, delaying their disembarkation. This was because they had been on the prior cruise to New Zealand and Australia is paranoid about any stray foods, seeds or grains invading their farms. There was a purse-sniffing beagle at every port not looking for drugs but food.

Fernie and I were off promptly at about 8am and the rest were supposed to be off no more than a half hour later. We figured we could arrange the maxi-cab and have it ready and waiting when they showed up. But we waited and waited and had to let three go to others. 9:15 and we were about to leave by ourselves so I left Fernie out by the taxi-stand to take a last look for them and L appeared at the top of the escalator with two huge suitcases; I could tell that he was fuming and as he got to the bottom, the luggage got caught up and he fell backwards. Luckily, he wasn't hurt and I helped extricate his bags and sent him off to hold the taxi with Fernie while I watched for the other three. He's taken the escalator because there were long lineups for the elevators and he wanted to let us know they were coming. The other three arrived about ten minutes later and we scurried along to the taxi. By now there was a mob of disembarking passengers and a long line at an empty taxi ramp but Fernie had managed to hang on to the latest maxi-cab. It was only about forty minutes to the airport at a cost of only $78 between the three couples and we were there in plenty of time.

Checking in at Qantas, we felt relaxed about the weight of our two large suitcases because we hadn't bought anything other than a few tshirts and I'd packed all heavy items including shoes in the small bags. But there was obviously a glitch with their scales because both large bags weighed 4kg over the 23kg (50lb) maximum and there was only clothes in them. They'd weighed in fine when we left Vancouver when we left. There was only one thing to do – transfer 4 kgs out of each big bag into the smaller ones; otherwise, they'd charge us $50 for each suitcase overweight. So in the middle of the floor in front of the check-in desk, we sat down on the tiles and started the process. There was little room in the small bags so we had to cram stuff in sitting on them to zipper them up. It took several tries to get the weight distributed and by then the sweat was pouring off us. The huge line of people waiting to check in were both impatient with us and also entertained by watching our clothes fly.

“Step over to the side Ma'am” said a chubby, florid-faced, middle-aged inspector after I'd been through the security xray process and was repacking my computer. “This is a random check ma'am” he muttered seriously as he handed me a laminated page of text to read.
“You Australians love to single me out” I retorted with apparent amusement while seething inside. “This is the third time I've been chosen for a random check” as he stuck his litle xray stick into my purse. His young female assistant did the body check with his little tool and the more I talked, the longer she took.
“So, do you just like my looks?” I asked cheekily to zero response. And of course, they wouldn't crack a smile. They just thrust the explanatory paper at me again and I refused to read it, having seen it so many times already. Finally, they gave me back my bag and gestured that I could leave.

The plane was going to be a half hour late leaving but “No Worries” because we had a six hour layover ahead of us in LA. The half hour delay stretched out to over an hour but we still weren't concerned It takes a while to load the huge Airbus 380 but finally we were all ready when an announcement boomed “One of our passengers has been taken ill and we have to remove him and then search for his luggage to offload”. Another half hour passed and another announcement “A second passenger has taken ill and has to leave, meaning we'll be further delayed while we extract his baggage”. I was starting to feel suspicious. It's highly unusual to have one taken ill enough to be removed but two? The first one sat three rows in front of us. He was not elderly as we expected; he was only about 30 and was pale (probably with fear) but was able to walk off. I didn't see the second one, but this sounded like suspected terrorists to me; if so, thank goodness they caught them. We finally left 2 ½ hours late and to think I'd whined about our long layover. I was thankful now as so many people on the flight missed their connections.

The flight from Melbourne to LA was almost two hours shorter on the return trip – 13 ½ hours instead of 15 ½. It had a light load of passengers so Fernie and I had three seats for two of us which was so comfy. I watched five movies – a marathon which made the flight go by in no time. It was all smooth sailing after that. LAX is always a nightmare of an airport but once we'd gone through collecting luggage and going through immigration and then checking luggage again and getting through the security, it seemed easy and quick on the final lap home where Tracey and Cairo were waiting for us.

Xmas lights draped around windows and hanging from eaves twinkled and reflected in the puddles as we drove home; It's Beginning to Feel a Lot Like Christmas!

Ozzie, Ozzie, Ozzie.........Oy, Oy, Oy


The northwest of Australia is so dry; two miles from the ocean and you're deep in the outback but while it's hot and arid, the air is humid. I just don't understand that. It was blistering when we arrived at Broome and the merchants knew we'd all keel over if we walked into town so they provided free shuttles. Larger than Exmouth (couldn't possibly be smaller), it was the picture of what one imagines an outback town would look like – old west Australian style – and thank goodness with deep overhangs outside the rows of shops so we could dive into the shade with ease. A group of Aborigines slumbered in the shade of a 'koolibah' tree in the town square (was that a 'billabong'?), using their swags as pillows. I didn't notice any aborigines in the south of Australia but the north is heavily populated with the aboriginal tribes.


Across the other side of the narrow peninsula, lies the twelve mile long Cable Beach where camels, descendants of the Afghani nomad herds brought here centuries ago, stride snootily along the water's edge, bearing passengers with apparent disdain. Unlike the Bedouin camels in Egypt, this herd is supposedly not cruelly treated.

We've been enjoying 'Movies Under the Stars' up on the Lido deck later on at night. A bag of popcorn, iced tea, a lounge chair with the cushion covered in a deep red moisture-wicking fabric, a plaid blanket which so far has been so far from necessary because of the warm tropical nights, and we settled down to watch a movie. None of them have been great films but the atmosphere made them enjoyable. One night I dragged Fernie to Marley and Me. He didn't want to go – he knew how it ended – but I insisted. Well, there wasn't a dry eye anywhere on the deck and Fernie was furious with me. After all, he'd been through exactly the same thing with Caesar just 8 months ago.


I never realized how close to the equator Darwin is and therefore so lushly tropical. With that came heat so intense and humidity so high that an intake of breath felt like I was being smothered. It was so hot that even the Aussies were complaining.
“How high is the humidity today?” I asked the friendly Darwin greeter.
“Same as always” she laughed “about 90%”
Who could live in a place where humidity like that is normal. Hot and sticky comes nowhere near describing the heavy, steamy, thick cloak of extreme mugginess that envelops the northern coast – but, there were no flies! It was even too hot for them.


On the dockside, several Darwin ambassadors welcomed us to their city some holding snakes and others baby crocs with their mouths taped shut so they won't bite. Doesn't this seem cruel? The snakes though seemed to enjoy human contact. As most of you know, I'm a snake lover and as I admired a fairly small python (about 5 feet long and an inch thick) it showed me that the feeling was mutual. As it aimed its tongue-flicking head towards me, it gracefully swayed and extended its length reaching for me, slid onto my shoulder and wrapped its soft, muscled body around my neck, the muscle pulses giving me a wonderful massage. It continued to glide all over me stopping every so often to gently peer straight into my eyes – tongue still flicking. Isn't it amazing that a connection can be made with a snake? Snoopily, it dove into my camera bag and quickly slid as much of the rest of its body in as if it wanted to stowaway with me. The handler helped me extricate it but its tail held on until the last minute.


There was a Princess bus into town for $7 pp each way (highway robbery) because it was only about a kilometer away. Just as we were about to do the hike into town, 'Free Shuttle' caught our eyes. It was going to Crocodylus Park. We all jumped aboard for a cool ride across town hoping the croc refuge would be worth it and it really was. Australians don't usually recognize non-domiciled seniors but they did at Crocodylus; we got the senior price plus an additional discount from a coupon. Probably the best deal we'd found in Australia. We sound so CHEAP!


An Indian-Australian, Steve Irwin type guy introduced us to the 'girls' who rule the colony. Massive prehistoric heads that I swore looked like algae covered rocks rose slowly from the water opening their gargantuan maws into what looked like a perpetual yawn. These salt-water crocs were unimaginably monstrous but their fresh water cousins were much smaller and more delicate in their features. Our crocodile hunter talked of these craggy reptiles as if they were his family while he demonstrated how high they'd jump to get a chicken leg. Then he placed each of us in front of a pool that held just one croc provided us with a fishing pole and after attaching chicken to the line, he let us feed the crocs. I dangled the line teasingly over the head of the slow, gargantuan beast that I'll call Rocky and a sudden 'snap' which proved that he wasn't so slow and I felt his immense weight as it tried to remove the chicken from the line. But as I wiggled it, the chicken slipped right through his teeth.


I subsequently felt so guilty teasing him with food. It's really quite mean. So I dangled it again but before Rocky had a chance to grab it, out of the murky depths of the adjacent pool, over a short wall, another slightly smaller one snatched the chicken in one swoop. Poor Rocky – I had to leave him hungry. But I'm sure he got his share later.


The shuttle driver dropped us off in town instead of back at the ship giving us a chance to have a walkabout but it was so hot we didn't last long. By the end of the day ashore, after walking back to the ship, our clothes were wringing wet. I always wonder how they always manage to have hot water and lots of pressure in the showers when probably everyone is showering at the same time.


Late afternoon, tour groups still ashore, the humidity soared even higher, the skies suddenly darkened and a storm ensued. Gusts of wind picked up signs, blew over fences and whirligigged choking dust funnels. The gangplank crew suddenly all had rain-suits and sou'westers on as they held the gangways down. We wondered how they had a chance to get changed but I guess they saw it coming.


Returning passengers caught in it were corralled back into the enclosed dock area...they didn't want a passenger conked on the head by the 'Welcome Back to the Dawn Princess' sign. And then the lightning glared and the thunder rolled as the rain let loose like a dam had been broken. Surely now the humidity would go down. We stood on deck under the cover of the lifeboats and watched a spectacular storm. But the humidity didn't lessen.


Gossip makes the rounds aboard ship as we meet different folks at lunchtime and out on the deck. You should have heard the stories about Tiger Woods....none of the ones I heard turned out to be true. But the following are supposed to be very true.
* Two gay guys, ages unknown, but purported to be less than young, were put off the ship in Darwin for having sex in the small back end swimming pool late at night. Obviously not so late that someone didn't walk by and see them.
* Old folks with canes got into a fracas in one of the tiny laundromats. I guess somebody didn't get their clothes out in time. Apparently, they wielded their walking sticks like swords.
* People continue to die on board. One old gent died in his bed and the room was fumigated after the body was removed.

I woke up with a slight scratchy throat.
“It's the air-conditioning” said Fernie but the scratch became a burning throat and next day it felt as if I'd swallowed razor blades. Then came the nasal congestion and a dry throaty cough. If only it had ended there but instead I developed a cough so deep it sounded like the ship was dropping anchor; it was so deep that people moved aside and away – I was like Moses parting the Red Sea. Then the wheezing started; it sounded as if a family of squeaky mice had taken up residence in my chest. The rattles and squeaks kept Fernie awake at night. I went through throat lozenges, cough drops and finally a pharmacist suggested cough syrup that would remove varnish. After ingesting it, I was sure I was going to turn into a werewolf.
|”I'm never going on another cruise” I croaked “unless we have a balcony”. The only times I haven't picked up a respiratory virus was when we had a balcony and we left the door open all the time.


“What is that chant?” we wondered. We heard it everywhere and everyone joined in.
“Ozzie, Ozzie, Ozzie” it started usually by one individual.
“Oy, Oy, Oy!” was answered in unison by every Australian within hearing distance.
Entertainers on the stage called it. Folks on a late returning tender – probably a bit soused – called it. We heard it on the South Bank in Melbourne, on the streets, on the buses. It was everywhere. Turns out that it's their sports cry, for all sports.
“We've got the best chant in the world” more than one gloated.
It always brought a smile to my face when it would start.

Australians en masse are extremely patriotic and believe they live in the best country in the world – rather like the USA. When an evening entertainer, a vocalist would burst into “Australia Will Always be Home to Me”, the applause was thunderous. They all seemed to get a warm and fuzzy feeling.


The most sailed 45 passengers were invited to lunch with the captain and officers. L&J have many times been the #1 in total days on Princess but not this cruise. The top was an Australian couple, whose days on the P&O line (before it sold Princess Cruises to Carnival) transferred to Princess. There were six or seven tables, each one with a ship's officer. We and L&J and a couple from the Melbourne area dined with the Chief Technical Officer, Simoni, a charming Italian from the south of Italy. It's amazing that we even had enough days to rank; I think it's because not as many Australians as Americans have cruised before; there are a lot of first timers. The food was exquisite, the wine ran freely and we had a lively conversation about traveling in southern Italy and Sicily.
“Do not miss Sicily” Simoni circled his thumb and fingers and blew a kiss to express how wonderful it is. “It is the best part of Italy!”

When we rounded the most northerly point of Australia, Cape York, Queensland, we were at a latitude of only 10 degrees, only about 150 kilometers across the Torres Strait from Papua, New Guinea. From that point we traveled south down the east coast inside that natural phenomenon, The Great Barrier Reef. The ocean was an iridescent aqua and the rain forests rolled down the mountains right to the water's edge.


We're not snorkelers – there's nothing on earth that could entice me to stick my face under water and breathe through a tube. But it's said that this 2000 km long reef is one of those 'must see before you die' experiences. A gigantic high-speed catamaran operated by Quicksilver Reef Cruises, was our mode of transit for the 70 km journey from Port Douglas.


A 2-level, partly covered platform was anchored in position out there, one of many all along the reef. The catamaran tied up to the platform and both facilities were available for the duration of our stay out there. Restrooms were on the boat, showers and change rooms were on the platform, and lunch was served on the boat.


The snorkelers lined up to get their masks, flippers and full body and head breathable suits to protect them from box jellyfish stings which can be lethal. Surprisingly, an awful lot of the 60 or so who took the trip, didn't snorkel. We lined up with them for the half hour submersible tour. It's a long boat where we descended into the narrow bottom that was lined with large angled windows below the ocean surface – sort of a glass-sided instead of a glass-bottomed boat. Two people could sit side-by side on fold down benches so everyone had a window, affording us all tremendous views of the underwater reef – there were about 25 rows in all. But when they packed us all in, the temperature went up substantially and it felt quite airless in spite of a blower on each passenger. The boat slowly toured along and between the coral mounds; there were turtles, big fish, little fish, striped, spotted and plain, sea anemones, other brightly coloured plants and it was so clear we could see a long distance. Not being a Jacques Cousteau fan, it was pretty but …...... I'd rather be on safari. As we moved along, the bottom of the boat swung gently from side to side. I'm not prone to seasickness but I noticed a few rows ahead of us that a series of seasickness bags were being passed forward and continued to for the duration of the tour.


Fernie started to look woozy only 5 minutes in and I asked him if he wanted a bag. He declined; he was not sick but claustrophobic – and we were in the middle of the pack of people with no room to go back or forward. I took out my fan and fanned him to keep him cool, but he spent the next 25 minutes fighting off a panic attack. So, no – I don't think Fernie liked it at all. As well as the boat, they had an underwater viewing area and you could stand and watch the undersea world complete with snorkelers. That kept our attention for about three minutes – Fernie only wanted to be out in the open air. So there: we've ticked that overrated phenomenon off our 'to do' list. Give me the pyramids any day.


Next stop, Airlie Beach, only a short distance south of Port Douglas. It was another jump-off point for the reef, but we'd seen enough of that. An attractive but tiny tourist town all about boating and water-sports,where luxurious yachts lined the docks in the harbour and reef tour companies took up every second storefront in the town. But it's a youthful place; I'm sure we saw no-one over the age of 25 in town except for the cruise folk. It is summer holidays though for the college kids. There was a salt-water lagoon for swimming because the box jellyfish are in great numbers along this coast, so the beach was empty – everyone was at the lagoon. Fernie delightedly pointed out the row upon row of topless and almost bottomless girls soaking in the sunshine.


G&R are really interested in geocaching and so we've tried to show them one in several ports. It's really strange but every time they're with us, we can't find the cache. Wouldn't you think it'd be easier with four of us? They're beginning to think that there's no such thing. Mind you, there haven't been a lot of caches within walking distance in a lot of ports. There were no caches in Exmouth; it was too hot in Broome to walk out to the lone cache, a half a mile into the outback ; In Darwin, five of us tried to find a single cache with no success; there were none at the reef of course; Airlie Beach, the only one was in a high-muggle area and we didn't find it. I can't wait to get back to some good geocaching.

The biggest problem with Australia, from my perspective, is that it's too western and civilized and Brisbane, a sparkling gem of a city is a perfect example. It's just too white bread. The ethnic mix is minimal – just too darn many white folks; the city is so beautifully organized and laid out – a little chaos would be a thrill; not a bit of litter mars the streets – as clean as Singapore which probably means that everyone's middle class. The river waters are pristine but wouldn't it be more exciting to be on the Ganges or the Nile? There's not a vagrant on the street, I haven't seen a skid row, no-one's asked me for some spare change – it sounds like a Utopian society but don't you think it's a trifle boring in its perfection.


The ship docked on the Brisbane River, about 6 miles down river from the city centre. A fleet of Catamarans efficiently ferried people up and down the snaky river - including us. Brisbane had an Expo in 1988, just two years after ours in Vancouver and we're told, the city flourished and grew after it. The remnants still reside on the South Bank. Public transportation is so easy to access in all of the Australian cities we've visited so far and Brisbane is no exception. We all, as a group of six, decided to go out to the Lone Pine Koala and Kangaroo Sanctuary and from the central bus depot in downtown, we got out there cheaply and with ease. We'd expected a warm day but the temperature soared so we were thankful that there was substantial shade there.





A multitude of koalas charmed us with their relaxed and lazy demeanours. These are animals that flourish in captivity and I think prefer it to the wild. Now I know why we haven't seen kangaroos hopping around in the wild.....they don't like the heat anymore than we do and lie around in the shade in the heat of the day. In the vast enclosure where they run freely, they'd formed depressions in the dirt and stretched out to beat the heat. There were great big daddies, smaller boned females, lots of youthful ones and then there were the joeys – some in their mother's pouch and others just out and perhaps only temporarily. They seemed to enjoy it as I scratched them behind their ears or rubbed their noses – no begging for food there; if someone offered it, they delicately accepted but never begged for it. So the image I had of roos jumping across the outback in the blazing sun was proved wrong – but there aren't any white ones either. They're either gray or red. Rolf Harris who wrote Six White Boomers for Xmas 1960 in Perth, Australia was purely fantasizing.


Six white boomers, snow white boomers
Racing Santa Claus through the blazing sun
Six white boomers, snow white boomers
.. On his Aus-tra-lian run


Gee, I'm beginning to feel quite 'Xmassy' so here goes, sing along with me to the whole darn Xmas song.


Early on one Christmas Day, a Joey Kanga-roo
Was very far from home and lost in a great big zoo
Mummy, where's my mummy, they've taken her a-way
We'll help you find your mummy son, hop on the sleigh
Up beside the bag of toys, little Joey hopped
But they hadn't gone too far when Santa stopped
Un-harnessed all the reindeer and Joey wondered why
Then he heard a far off booming in the sky


Six white boomers, snow white boomers
Racing Santa Claus through the blazing sun
Six white boomers, snow white boomers
.. On his Aus-tra-lian run


Pretty soon old Santa began to feel the heat
Took his fur-lined boots off to cool his feet
Into one popped Joey, feeling quite OK
While those old man kangaroos kept pulling on the sleigh
Joey said to Santa, Santa, what about the toys
Aren't you giving some to these girls and boys
They've all got their presents son, we were here last night
This trip is an extra trip, Joey's special flight

Soon the sleigh was flashing past, right over Marble Bar
Slow down there, cried Santa, it can't be far
Come up on my lap son, and have a look around
There she is, that's mummy, bounding up and down
Well that's the bestest Christmas treat that Joey ever had
Curled up in mother's pouch all snug and glad
The last they saw was Santa headed northward from the sun
The only year the boomers worked a double run

Sailing, sailing over the ocean blue........


So, what's the first thing you do on a cruise?............you look for food, of course and you never have to go very far. After depositing our large suitcases with the ship's staff on the dock, we dragged our smaller ones aboard, found our cabin and unpacked what we had. We worked up a big appetite so off we toddled to the first gargantuan feast, Fernie delighted that there are no more price tags.


Our Las Vegas friends, L&J were already aboard having been on for more than two weeks hooking a New Zealand cruise on the front of the Australian one. J's sister and brother-in-law, G&R were also with them. G&R hail from Missouri or Missourah as it's pronounced in their neck of the woods. It was going to be fun having them all with us for the next four weeks. Sadly, J's other sister had to cancel just weeks before the cruise for health reasons.


Our first piece of checked luggage had arrived in our cabin when we got back from lunch. “This was great” we thought, expecting the second one momentarily. But the hours went by, dinner time came and went, and still no suitcase. Wouldn't you know it was the one that we'd tucked our two LAX duty-free bottles of vodka into. Finally, we lined up at the purser's with all the other disgruntled passengers and we were asked “do you have any alcoholic beverages in your suitcase?” ….................Ummmmmmmm! What else could we say except “Yes”. The purser sent us down to 'security' on deck 4 – it sounded ominous. L went down with Fernie and thank goodness he did because when asked about the booze inside the suitcase, quick-thinking L chimed in snarkily with “It's just wine for goodness sake” and they released it to us without further inspection. Our room steward kept us stocked with fresh ice twice a day, clean highball & wine glasses and so we alternated rooms for our happy hours every afternoon before dinner. For some weird reason, Princess permits wine to be brought aboard as often as you want, so we sampled different Australian wines from each port of call.

When we first boarded, I was shocked at how old the passengers were – it was the 'nearly dead crowd'. They were so old......that I felt like a teenager. HA! You say. There definitely weren't many under 50's aboard. There were 30 children in total but then it wasn't school holidays yet. I think the average age ended up being around our age though when all the really old geezers moved out of the way. These long voyages (28 days) don't appeal to the young for several reasons – mostly, they don't get that much time off work and they don't have money that they're in a hurry to spend before they die.

The ship is full of Ozzies; Americans for a change are a minority and it seems as if most of the Australians come from the Melbourne area. There's a strong rivalry between the states of New South Wales and Victoria and between the cities of Sydney and Melbourne. Sydney gets all the attention from the rest of the world, because of its harbour and the opera house so Melbournians sneer and jeer when they hear someone's from Sydney.


Shipboard life muddles the brain; on sea days there's no need to think of anything but when the next meal is served or what time the entertainment starts. I have to keep reminding myself that these sea days are traveling days and we could be in airports, on & off planes all day. Then I keep the boredom at bay. It just seems such a waste of time otherwise to just sit in a deck chair reading a book – I can do that at home. I crave exploration. There are all sorts of events and pastimes to get involved in but they're not for us – 'been there, done that'. We're so jaded. I'm so glad that on this cruise the sea days are limited – no more than two sea days in a row and mostly just one at a time.


Adelaide (pronounced Adelide), in Southern Australia was thankfully overcast and cool instead of the extreme heat that had been forecast. A shuttle bus, compliments of the Adelaide merchants ushered us into town. I guess they expected us to spend money – well we did buy three bottles of wine to replenish our stock. Adelaide doesn't have the excitement of Sydney or the cosmopolitan air of Melbourne but it's an attractive and friendly city. What it lacks in vibrancy is made up by its cleanliness and order. We took a public bus out to the country town of Hahndorf in the green hills east of town. A peaceful faux German village with a main street lined with tourist shops, hotels and restaurants, it didn't keep our interest for long and we hopped on a bus back down to the city. The surrounding areas took a lot of damage in the out-of-control brush fires of last February, but none of it was apparent from the road.


A day in port, a day at sea, a day in port, a day at sea and then three ports in a row – now that's more my style. Then a day at sea was welcomed after traipsing around these towns for three consecutive days. From Adelaide, the ship crossed the middle of the continent across the Great Australian Bight (it looks as if a giant meteor once landed there and took a bite out of the continent), a wide expansive bay where it looks as if there's no civilization on the shores to speak of.


We ended up at Albany in the state of Western Australia; you'd have thought they could have found a more inventive name for a state, wouldn't you? A small town, population around 20,000, it lacked personality until we let the geocaches lead the way. We puffed up to Wagon Rock along a forested trail we'd never have found on our own, through shrubs laden with amber and rose-coloured blossoms, trees filled with cackling cockatoos up and out to a monstrous flat-topped rock on which the 360 degree vista made the sweaty climb all worthwhile. Soaked and exhausted, we still stopped at the giant discount liquor store 'Dan Murphy's' and picked up a couple of specialty wines 'tres cheap'.


There are some nice advantages from having sailed with Princess more than 15 times – this is our 18th cruise with this line One of the best perks is free laundry and dry cleaning. Fernie (aka the laundry guy) gathered up our dirty clothes every couple of days, listed them and left them for our steward.
“NO!” I said emphatically when he tried to put in my underwear. “I'll continue to hand wash them”. But he told me not to be so silly and put them in. So of course, I did. The first couple of loads came back intact but then one day when we checked the count, 3 pairs of my underwear and a pair of socks were missing. Three days later, still no luck. I envision some cross-dressing steward prancing around the ship in my panties – they're not lace or frilly and they're definitely not thongs, but they are awfully nice.


Next stop – Bunbury! Isn't that a name that evokes visions of motherly ladies with buns in their hair and gingham aprons, pulling trays of hot cookies or perhaps 'buns' from the oven? It's a quaint town just 100 miles south of Perth with lots of Victorian gingerbread and latticework on the downtown buildings. Shopping is 'the pits' anywhere in Australia because of the prices and there's not much in the way of tourist attractions in Bunbury other than the Dolphin Discovery Center. This center has the right idea because they do not in any way trap or cage the dolphins. The dolphins come into the bay of their own volition and even choose to swim with the flippered and goggled humans. But not when we were there. They chose instead to frolic and entertain around the cruise ship. Oh well, our $5 entry fee to the centre is well spent because of the work they do in protecting the wild dolphins. We are such philanthropists. Then once again the wonder of geocaching – we would have been so bored after our cursory look around town but with caches to hunt for, there are always hidden secret places to discover.


I can only put it down to a moment of temporary insanity but it's more likely second childhood. Fernie was aghast as I plucked a dead twig from a tree and etched G E R R I into the wet cement in a picnic shelter. After he got over the shock of me defacing public property, he said “ but you'll never be back in Bunbury to see it again!”. But I can imagine all the Bunbury families perhaps with one of those gingham-aproned grannies wondering who that GERRI is.


I don't remember if I've already mentioned the Australian flies yet, but no matter if I did, because they definitely deserve to be brought up again. These nasty little beasties are everywhere and I do mean everywhere. They like to fly into your face, especially eyes and mouth and if wearing sunglasses, they land on them and go 'walkabout'. So, we walk along the street waving across our faces to hold them at bay. I was told that this is called 'the Australian Salute'. One dear lady said “you don't need to suffer dear, you can buy Aerogard”. Oh goodie and off we went to buy this fly repellent and liberally coated our faces and hair with it daring the flies to touch us now. Well......they didn't give an Australian damn and seemingly enticed their friends to join them in the attack on the Canadians. $6.95 down the drain.


Perth. Funny how names can put you off a place – but it turned out to be so unlike my preconception. It's a lovely, clean and vibrant city riddled with quaint arcades and has lots of lush green parkland along the Swan River and throughout the town. We docked at Fremantle, the port city and took a train 12 miles into Perth.



Letting geocaching be our guide, we did a circuitous route about the city before ominous storm clouds rolled in and large raindrops made us run back to the built-up area and made a quick exodus back to Fremantle where the sun was still shining. Only 2 GC's were within a mile of the ship and wouldn't you know it they were at the highest point, an old navigational hill now a memorial to fallen soldiers. Hot, sweaty and tired, we headed back down towards Coles Liquorland – No, I don't have an alcohol problem; I just appreciate fine wines and I only have so much time in Australia to sample as many as I possibly can.


A sign caught our eye as we tottered back through town “Free Exhibit” That word 'free' is like a donkey's carrot to me. It was a strange and unlikely exhibit on the history of psychiatry and mental illness and the graphic audio-visual presentations portrayed the extreme torture that was used to heal the mad in bygone days. It was pretty gruesome. The purpose of the exhibit though was to bring attention to the fact that these days the mentally ill are over-medicated and not enough emphasis is put on research for cures.


Exmouth on the tip of the North West Cape in Western Australia, is hardly even a town. I don't know where the 2400 inhabitants live. Supposedly between April and October, another 4000 Australians flock here in caravans and motorhomes from the bitter cold south – I hear it goes down to around 5 degrees Celsius and that's probably overnight – the poor dears. Those aged roamers are called 'gray nomads' like our 'snowbirds'. The tropical north coast is always hot and a long reef teeming with sea life, the Ningaloo, lies just off the coast, in some places only 30 metres offshore. But it was a desolate place and even the Ozzies wanted a fast exit from Exmouth.


Emus run wild around town, on the lookout for handouts, I suppose. They're a bit skittish but cock their heads at you in a comical and expectant manner. We had hoped to get up to the Cape Range National Park and its steep gorges teeming with wildlife, about 15 miles out but found we'd need a 4 wheel drive which wasn't available, to get up the steep rocky hills where rock wallabies run amok.


A small snake called a 'guarda' looking much like our garter snake – maybe 15 inches long and as thick as my little finger – had the attention of a shopkeeper in the town square (if you could call it that). Feeling sorry for the reptile who appeared to be trying to get away as the shopkeeper used his shoe to corral it, I said “couldn't I just pick it up and move it over to the bushy area across the road?”. This brought derision “If ya' wanna spend a few weeks in hospital, then go ahead” he guffawed. The innocent looking snake was venomous.


My eyes have been accosted by the most horrendous sights on the sun decks aboard ship. Australian men wear Speedos. No matter that they're 75 years old, fat and flabby, skinny and bony or pasty white and not just the gay guys. At least most of the women keep their unsightly parts covered up even if their sense of style seems to be non-existent. Dowdy flowered housedresses proliferate as do polyester outfits that have been around for thirty years.


I've now talked to at least a hundred Australians and have gleaned all sorts of information from them such as how much they paid for their cruise and seeing as how they don't tip on land, what do they do about the automatic $10 a person tip applied to their accounts. Happy to report, they still paid a lot more for the cruise than we North Americans did even though it was heavily discounted in the last couple of months. Tipping though as some of the Ozzies said is 'just not done' and they filled out forms at the pursers to take the tips off their accounts. “If someone got a 10% tip in Australia, they'd faint” one guy said thinking that Americans tipped 10%. He thought us all absolutely mad when I told him, it was customary to pay 15% to 20%. Now these are my kind of people because as I've said before ad nauseam “I hate tipping”. So I lined up at the purser's office and filled out the form. However, now we can tip individuals for exceptional service.